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When you suffer trauma, everything can replay in your head over and over, and at the same time you can have feelings of self-blame, worthlessness, badness, I find I'm worse when I have a relapse in the physical illness.
It is normal to have days of emotion and sadness with trauma, tough but normal, and the best thing to do is rest, look after yourself, try to do something practical or read, listen to music, survive.
Remember, you are not to blame for everything you've experienced which has hurt you in life, you are not to blame for other people hurting you, and reactions are reactions, be kind to yourself.
I take a vitamin and iron supplement, I find it helps my mood, and if I'm very down, I take some extra vitamin B, not vitamin C or D, vitamin B.
Grit your teeth, survive. Live. You are alive, as REM sings. There is so much hope and potential. It may not seem that way, but get creative and find the hope and potential.
I'm better than I was yesterday but not up to telling stories about County Clare, so I'll leave it at that, as I struggle with feelings and emotions today, I'll say to you, be kind to yourself and understand that on bad days it is is easy to try to take the blame for the whole world and their crass opinions, but think of the good in you, and most people do have good. I am clean and tidy, honest and quiet and occasionally friendly and gentle.
love,
A
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