The Pink Ukelele

 Having finished my first diamond art painting and feeling good that my motor skills didn't hold me back, I was thinking of learning cross stitch and doing more diamond art as my rest and break activities from my studies. But while waiting for an appointment in town, I found a new unused ukulele for 1 Euro. It may be child-size and pink but I decided it was for me. 

I used to have a guitar and a keyboard before my life was wiped out  decade ago. Now I have a small ukulele and I am taking up music again. Something I learned about life when I was a teenager is 'There is always more'. And so a pink ukulele became more, and I walked through town playing the ukulele and went to my appointment with it.

Pink Ukulele

There is always more, and life renews and regenerates. In 'Dreamcatcher' by Stephen King, he depicts life force as a child filling a bucket from the sea, the sea doesn't run out.

Life is tough, it doesn't always go as we hope. I've had a recent very difficult day and I'm just getting on with things. I like my ukulele lessons and refreshing my music theory. I used to study with Trinity College London but I'll be joining the RIAM. I believe now that I can play the keyboard again, my injured hand allows Ukulele, so it will probably allow keyboard.

I have started rehabilitation exercise now. It impacts your body first time, but it was a good sign that it didn't incapacitate me. Life regenerates and sometimes the new growth is better. 

Life force. power, pure joy. 

Back on the chain gang

 After an unwanted break from volunteer work, I managed to get a shift, weekends for a few hours, community work. I'm delighted. 

I was very happy to do my first shift at the weekend. And it's exactly what I want to be doing. 

Our local volunteer centre is a bit lacklustre, where the Dublin ones used to pursue me with shifts, the local one is hard to communicate with, and the other group I worked with changed leadership and also became difficult to get hold of. 

I am determined, so I found something to do in the end. And the best cure for all ills is volunteer work, even if it can make me feel like collapsing physically. But like everything, I will work to overcome, and see if I can get some strength back. 

Apart from that, I am busy with the pursuit of publishing, and also writing poems, and now competing in poetry contests. 

That's about all for now. Life is a whirlwind, there's an imminent Dublin trip, so much going on. 

Life force, power, pure joy. 

Letting Go

 Good afternoon and so on. 

I am working on self-help. YouTube has some great CBT videos, there are series, well worth it. 

Being flexible and believing in change help. 

I have been using a CBT programme to see how best to cope with my wrong wiring, and one thing I'm learning about is to channel the intensity which comes from being wired wrong. To focus the panicked instinctive life and death mode which comes from real life and death situations in my past. Essentially using my brain in different ways will help. I was advised of some apps to help keep my brain focused and training, the brain is quite able, some neurological pathways are dark, I am hopeless with lines and numbers, logic. But I decided from recent events that nothing is impossible, I may as well try to wake that part of my brain. 

It's the weekend so I am watching videos while also doing poetry and short story entries. Life has so much in it. I described this while in peer support like this: 

'There are so many stars in the sky'. During recent times stars have come into my musical sound-track for life. Two songs especially, 'The Call' by Regina Spektor 'Pick a star on the dark horizon and follow where it leads...' and then from the recent Christmas 'God Bless us every one' from 'A Christmas Carol' - 'Star by Star in the Sky and kindness by human kindness, let me love till I die and God bless us every one'. Both songs are about change, revolution. A Christmas Carol is about someone waking up, coming out of their cave, and I hope that's what I'm doing. The Call is often linked to action film sound tracks but the words are interesting. 

Another Song I like at the moment is 'The Cave', I always did, some songs from my past have moved to the present. The Cave has a lot in it which not everyone will hear, it goes from The Bible to Odysseus to the analogy of The Cave and boots around many things while being a modern song about relationships and reactions. It reminds me strongly of recent events in my life and how some of those events woke me with a jolt. 

Life changes, evolves, revolves, it's better to evolve than be stuck. Sometimes change means letting go, and it can hurt, and it can be uncertain when you're letting go of one thing to grab another. 

Build a sky full of stars, so when you have to let go of a thing, person or place which you loved or bonded to, you can look at your other stars and keep going forward. 

Life Force

 I hope you're settling into the new year well. 

My revolutions are going okay. I don't use any sugar in my tea. 

The other day I did my initial suicide prevention training. I have first aid first response but suicide training is equally necessary. 

You may have read my previous post. This is about the two suicidal people who I had to help.

Life Force 198: It's hard to know what to do when you're actually confronted by it

 It's good to have training and I will go on and do more training. 

When people are suicidal, it is like being in a dark tunnel with no light, no way out. People are precious, we have to look after them and support them. The most important things people need in that dark tunnel, is people with them and support. 

Support is important. It seems, after all this time and struggle, I have more support. It certainly makes a difference to me. We all need someone to turn to, a friendly face, a friendly place, a cup of tea. 

We all need to talk, to get things off our chest, however unimportant, how we don't like a new TV show, and how we don't fancy Cillian Murphy, and so on, just talking, reaching out. It was the hardest thing in the world for me to reach out but I needed to. We all need to link in with others, even if we like a lot of time alone as I do. 

As I mentioned at Christmas, I got obsessed with 'A Christmas Carol, the Musical' and I love the lines from the song 'Let us love till we die, and God Bless us, every one'. 

By the way, here's a link to great life lessons: 145 Life Lessons Everyone Needs to Learn

I'm not paid for links, it's something I found useful and agree with a number of the lessons. 

Happy New Year from Lifeforce198

 

Happy New Year in a few hours! 

What am I up to? Writing out New Year's prayers, worrying - nothing new, listening to music, sorting photo albums and files, and so on. 

How do I see the New Year in? With tea of course, with the London Fireworks live, again I give a nod to that awful country for New Year. I do New Year's Revolutions, because it's more fun, and I have a bottle of 198 champagne on hand - Apple and Elderflower sparkling water. 

So, what a year, highlights? Being violently assaulted and put in hospital, seeing firsthand how our hospital is no longer functioning safely. And then there was Leinster House, memories to savour. One thing stands out to me from the year, the kindness and friendliness, everyone who stood by me. I won't name you all, but if I name a few, they won't mind - Shane, Theresa, Michelle, Bob and the gang, Camilla, Ian, Ger, John, Lisa, Paul, all of ye, too many to name and some might not want to be named, so many people who have made life brighter. 

And at the beginning of December I had a great weekend in Dublin, a fantastic catchup with everyone, especially those who I haven't seen since I moved to Limerick. So many special people. It made me laugh that the lazer beams from the awful light show on Dublin's O'Connell Street can be seen all the way to South Dublin. 

In brief my New Year's Revolution started up before the New Year, and it's about changing my reactions and trying to improve how I relate to people. With the level of trauma and psychological damage I've suffered, I struggle miserably with interactions and relating to people and I need to change, but it's not overnight, especially when trauma to do with relationships is hardwired into me. But I'll try with help. 

Wishing you a Happy New Year or at least a peaceful one if things are difficult. Remember what I said last year. Not everyone can have a happy Christmas or New Year, the image of happy families is an image, and many people struggle, take heart, it's not you, it's life. 

 Dr O'Brien, I've 

took your railway set, hope you don't miss it. 

The fireworks were great, both live from London and in our local area. And it's New Year's Day evening now. I walked into town, there were buses and my bike, but I think I needed walking time. I went to the 'Sober Rave' at Wickham Way for a while, I snagged a free ticket and attended out of curiosity. 

It was interesting, a real disco/warehouse rave feel but no drugs or alcohol, people dancing sober, loud music and lights, great fun. I avoid pubs, clubs and alcohol behaviour, so it was nice to be able to take part. I hope they keep it up and grow it. 

He's gone

I heard today that my friend had died and I wrote this. 

He’s gone—

the news arrived today.

He’s gone,

so far away.

His voice, his smile, his gentle grace,

live only now in memory’s space.

No more upon the clifftop high,

laughing as the seabirds fly,

watching basking sharks below,

his joy a light, a steady glow.

No longer at the front he’ll stand,

words of comfort close at hand;

that smile we cherished, kind and true,

a gift the world no longer knew.

He’s gone—

and none can take his place.

He walks in heaven, face to face

with our Lord, his journey done—

no longer bound, but home, at one.

It's hard to know what to do when you're actually confronted by it

In this post I refer to a previous attempted suicide where myself and my friend intervened, on this old post: 

https://lifeforce198.blogspot.com/2024/12/gerry-and-incident-in-dublin.html

I often blog about reasons to live. This blog was originally a mental wellness and suicide prevention blog, but I have so much going on that I barely have time to come up with posts on mental wellness and quality of life.

This evening I was sitting in bed, I was tired and didn't intend to take my writing downstairs as usual, so I was sitting up watching the Addams Family and just vaguely warming up to write. I'm writing a new novel 'Empire's Survivor' if I haven't already mentioned it. Anyway my friend came into my room. Unusual but okay. He sat on my bed and told me he was suicidal. 

I'm supposed to have some training and knowledge, but in the training they teach you how to deal with suicidal strangers, bridge jumpers and so on. And as you know, I've dealt with such a scenario once and we saved her, but a friend coming to you in this state is a different matter and I was sitting with my laptop, not expecting this at all. I was totally thrown.

He told me that our other friend wouldn't help him, that he wanted a gun and our friend wouldn't bring his gun. (it turns out he no longer has a gun), anyway, he wanted me to get a gun. I talked to him about gun law and how if anyone brought him a gun they'd be arrested, and we didn't want him dead. 

He needed to talk and to be with someone, and that was fine, you know how I am, a troubled autistic person with many bad memories, so I felt at a bit of a loss here, but of course I wanted to help him. 

I asked him to talk to me. In the training you're taught to ask the person's name and introduce yourself to build a bond and make the person feel they're not alone, which didn't work with the semi-conscious suicide attempt in Dublin and would be no use with my friend. He sat on the bed and asked me if I'd get him a gun. He told me he'd asked at the gun shop but as he wasn't part of a gun club, they wouldn't let him have a gun. 

I texted the manager of the mental health charity but he wasn't much help. He said that I should phone the guards, this wouldn't help much. I texted our friend and he told me to just listen to him and be there for him and that he said these things to all his friends. Okay, I understand that but why can't something be done? Why is no one being more proactive? I guess many people find it hard like this when someone they know tells them they're suicidal. 

I explained gun laws to him, no one can get him a gun for suicide without being arrested. I looked up resources. I've done some volunteering with Pieta House, and so I emailed the person I had contact with there. In the end I phoned his psychiatry clinic with his consent and he left a message asking for a nurse to call out. 

He says he hasn't been able to sleep properly for years, he's troubled by a voice in his head. He's become very depressed with lack of sleep and lack of quality of life with the voice in his head. It's a tough one. Really I would imagine the only solution would be to change his medications, but he says no, and he saw his psychiatrist today and didn't tell them what was on his mind. So really it's hard to do much unless someone proactively liaises with his mental health team. 

He went back to his room to rest, and talked with me a bit longer later, mainly about the lack of sleep. You can imagine it's hard to do anything when you can't do anything. I just listened and sympathized. I hope the clinic can take his message seriously and someone can come round. 

Suicidal thoughts and actions impact on people around the person who is suffering. 

As previously mentioned, if someone is suicidal, they can get trapped in a dark tunnel of despair and not see a way out or a time when the problem isn't a problem. So if this man hasn't been sleeping for a long time, it's hard for him to see anything different. I remember what I'm like when I miss one night's sleep, I get physically and emotionally sick very easily, so it must be bad to have missed so much sleep. To choose life, there have to be things to live for, and without sleep, everything can be affected, it can be hard to see any positives. 

Update on that. 

I liaised with this friend's psychiatric team and pushed them to call out as they tried to ignore the request and phone him or ask him to go to them, which he wouldn't. They'd been unaware of how bad things were, and met with me and him and continued proactive contact, and as I left the situation, I left it with them and trusted they'd handle it. 

It's not far to Tipperary

 

The Cork-Tipperary Final which Tipperary won. The only time I have ever backed Cork. Window in Tipperary with derogatory remarks for Cork. 

Poor people such as myself don't really get holidays. But I've done okay for short breaks this year. It's certainly not the 4 star 'We hate tourists' hotel in Puerto del Carmen for me, but I had a nice week in Dublin with the little dog, three walks on the beach every day and a visit to my old haunts, and then this weekend I had a fantastic mini-break in Tipperary. 

I'd never been to Tipperary Town before. I know Nenagh, some people will be rolling their eyes there. I am not that keen on Nenagh. Tipperary is very different. 

Tipperary is like Mullingar with mountains, it's so similar to Mullingar. Shout out to the good people of Mullingar, I miss you, by the way. Mullingar is one of the kindest places in Ireland.

Tipperary has a similar layout to Mullingar in some ways, but especially the main street. It looks like Mullingar's main street. Then behind there's the Abbey School, which looks grim, it looks like part of the history of religious schools and institutions. There are various other grim and foreboding buildings, then there's the contrasting Excel Cultural Centre, modern, blue. 

Tipp has its problems. The main road is narrow and congested and they do have a share of antisocial behaviour including 'Rogue Car', one car which speeds round and round the roads all night. And then you get the 'Skins Lorry' coming through and it makes the town smell. The skins lorry came through while I was in Tipperary. I didn't see it, but I certainly smelled it, and the town keeps the smell the next day. 

See what I mean...Mullingar.

I stayed in a lovely old place, friendly and welcoming, comfortable and homeley. Every comfort. I had a good sleep and a tasty breakfast, and I thought of Mullingar. I loved seeing the Galtee Mountains up close. If you're up the side of Mount Meelick, you can see the Galtees with their eternal hat of cloud from there and various other places around Limerick. 

Life isn't perfect, especially not for the poor in Ireland, but sometimes we get a break. Sometimes luck throws something our way, and we can grab it and enjoy it. It was a little break, a little but pleasant experience. I grabbed it. And the buses to Tipperary are pretty good, it's not a long journey and on an august weekend it was a quiet bus. Grab those little gems in life and hold onto them, put them in that box of little gem memories. 

I started writing a new novel by the way. It's about a property tycoon. 5,000 words so far. 

Another fantastic weekend.

We reached out today in memory. To a year ago. To the start of 198. On Nassau Street, where old ghosts meet. You and I, we reached out. With the help of a friend I worked through those memories of gratitude and hope from the beginning of 198. I will never forget. I met a special man once, he was troubled but I saw the light in him, even if it was faded and faltering. I saw the light in him. Sometimes you meet people and see light in them. There are a number of people in Limerick who have light in them and some show by example what redemption looks like as well. 

So it hit 30 degrees this weekend. And in Limerick I joined the team on a very special project on Saturday. A special human being was in hospital and they hadn't been able to look after their house, so we went in and deep cleaned it. The weather was roasting and we worked hard, we sweated and we ached. We did this because we could and we wanted to. It was a fantastic day and very hard work, and of course great company, I am happy to say that I know people who are the salt of the earth. And now that special precious human being can come back to a clean and tidy house and wonder where we put everything, where everything is! 

Sadly, nearby, another special precious person, a man in his 70s, was violently murdered, and that cast a pall over our beloved Limerick on a weekend buzzing with events and sunshine. The person who caused the death has been charged, but it won't bring back a special Limerick character who has passed away, leaving his poor doggie pining for him. RIP and my deepest sympathies to the family and friends. 

When we finished the volunteer shift, I had a wash and changed, got some food, and watched the Pride Parade pass by as I waited for church. Pride looked a little diminished, perhaps because of the football final and other events. Then I caught up quickly with a friend or two before I went home for a shower and change before I went out on another errand. I could have had another busy sociable day today but I allowed myself to rest, well, physically anyway, I was doing trauma work for a large part of the day. Let yourself rest, especially if you are prone to overdoing things due to trauma. Rest. Look after yourself. 

We lost the football! Very sad. I love the sports, and I'm rooting for Cork next weekend for the only time in my life, because they're playing Tipperary. Ha. However, the lost football led to a lovely warm conversation with someone, which strayed almost inevitably to County Clare. You know how it is with me and County Clare, if I can, I will. 

Live, love, every minute. Life force, power, pure joy. 

A. 

A poem, if you have time. Not one of mine, but it reminds me a little of my late father, especially the last verse. 

Tony Harrison

1937 –

Though my mother was already two years dead
Dad kept her slippers warming by the gas,
put hot water bottles her side of the bed
and still went to renew her transport pass.

You couldn't just drop in.  You had to phone.
He'd put you off an hour to give him time
to clear away her things and look alone
as though his still raw love were such a crime.

He couldn't risk my blight of disbelief
though sure that very soon he'd hear her key
scrape in the rusted lock and end his grief.
He knew she'd just popped out to get the tea.

I believe life ends with death, and that is all.
You haven't both gone shopping; just the same,
in my new black leather phone book there's your name
and the disconnected number I still call. 

Limerick, your arms are still holding me - 9 month Anniversary

It's been a busy time. Last time I wrote I had the joy and honour of helping with Darkness into Light Limerick 2025. It was a great day and went back to back with another role I do, where I go picking litter.

There are many people in the world who would scoff at picking litter, why would anyone choose to do it? Isn't it a punishment for people doing community service? 

No, it's a wonderful thing to do, picking up rubbish that people have discarded, notably around benches and walls and in flower beds and hedges where people throw rubbish. When I worked with Tidy Towns in Dublin, we would pick litter by a pub with a roof terrace and the amount of intact beer glasses and alcohol bottles fished out of the hedge intact was stunning. 

The kind of people who choose to get up early on a weekend and pick litter are some of the best company in the world, they truly are, salt of the earth. If you're feeling unhappy with your social circle, come litter picking. As an autistic person, I will always be a quiet person, will always struggle to communicate in social situations, but what helps me is attending a volunteer event where everyone has such good in their hearts that they choose to be there and to do good, not for praise or acclaim but because they care, because they are motivated, because they are kind. I feel safe with such people and more able to relax and talk.

One of the best things you can do for your mental health is go volunteering, and sometimes the best time to do that is when you feel least like doing that. I felt bad and didn't want to get up in the morning, but I'm very glad I did. I'm glad I did something useful and met with good people, it helps me to recover from my recent bad experience. 

Don't worry, we don't abandon the bags there.

The wonderful 'Serve the City' team who I litter pick with, who also run services such as soup kitchens and language exchange for migrants who want to improve their English. Serve the City were some of the first people I met when I came to Limerick, and meeting them gave me hope of a future here. 

It's been a difficult two weeks for me since I was violently attacked by addicts in town and put in hospital, on a Saturday of all days, my favourite day to be in Limerick and be around the people who I admire so much because they looked after me so well when I was homeless. Two weeks of pain and anxiety and depression and my landscape changing. I'm still suffering pain because it hit my disabilities and old injuries hard, and I wasn't feeling too well today but I got out of bed and went litterpicking willingly, looked forward to it and was happy, after two weeks of struggling to get up and function. I am getting back to normal.

Thursday this past week was a great day for me, as I passed my First Aid Responder course well and I'd enjoyed the course a lot. I actually turned up with concussion after being attacked as it's an intensive course and we were told not to miss a single session. My horrified instructor told me I could only audit the practicals that week, which was better than missing out, and in the end my practical exam seemed to come out perfect, so I was delighted. I'm so happy. First Aid is a vital skill and due to my circumstances I've waited years to re-qualify. 

Let me tell you the story of how I first met the litterpicking team. I'm a community volunteer but they are not on the community volunteering list. I arrived in Limerick 9 months ago, shocked, hypothermic and soaked by the rain, and covered in ECG pads from a heart scare caused by the circumstances which left me homeless on the streets of Limerick when I'd been expecting to come to a tenancy and a bright future.

It was Friday September 13th, in the evening, and I was obviously not okay when I was first on the streets of Limerick, and from the moment I arrived, people showed care and concern for me, they looked after me, and that saved me, and eventually, as the support was unwavering and strong, I was able to start rebuilding my life. 

It was Saturday September 14th, 9 months ago today, that after no sleep overnight on the streets of Limerick, I walked down to Arthurs Quay, having dried out naturally and calmed down because the people who kept me company overnight were so funny and cheered me up, at Arthurs Quay I stumbled across a group who were litter picking and I wondered if it was Tidy Towns, who I'd worked with in Dublin, but no, I'd never heard of the group but they were friendly and inclusive and had sweets and coffee afterwards, so I took a liking to them. It was a hopeful turn to events and just in that short time, I realised I could have a future in Limerick, just that it would be different to the one I'd been led to expect. 

Today I was honoured to be with this same team, different location, lovely people, to litter pick again. It makes me so happy, I can't fully explain why, but it makes me so happy. I didn't join them for coffee, as I said, I'm still suffering the after effects of being seriously injured and I said goodbye as the group went for coffee, and walked down to the church, my Limerick on a Saturday was to be reduced to just the litterpicking and my routine prayers at church, and then I headed home to rest.

The good in Limerick outweighs the bad. An honour and a pleasure to work with these people. 

As I walked down to the church, there was no sign of the huge ugly brewing trouble that played a part in the attack on me two weeks ago. Maybe I didn't see anything, maybe I didn't want to, or maybe because the Gardai and others are fully aware of what's been going on, something is being done, good on them if so. It was my Limerick on a Saturday again as I briefly popped in to do my prayers and walked back up to the bus, if I'd been feeling better, I would have stayed around, but I got groceries delivered, I'm not in a library mood and I still need to adjust after what happened, I'm not comfortable sitting or stopping in town yet. 

I get the bus to the end of the route where my bike waits for me. It was a funny day for people asking me for all sorts of directions to place and asking when buses were, maybe because I kept my hi-viz vest on, I wear it when I bike to and from the bus and we wear them for litter picking as well, so people must have thought I was someone and they were asking me a range of questions and directions from easy to impossible and I did my best. Ballybunnion and The Crescent Shopping Centre are okay, but don't throw anything more complex at me. Yikes, I think the last one, no matter where I tried to direct them, they'd still end up in the wrong place. 

I knew as I walked through town that my Limerick hasn't gone just because some irrational and violent people attacked me.  The good people are still here and the Spirit of Limerick is stronger than the current troubles. Your arms are still holding me, and my arms are holding you. 

The Limerick Love Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdjRmM0Q0qs

Darkness into Light

Darkness into Light, Limerick 2025. The sun rises behind TUS Moylish Campus now that the walkers are back and everyone is enjoying breakfast. 

I had the great pleasure and honour of being a safety volunteer for Darkness into Light, 2025 after walking in Dublin last year.

I am very lucky that Pieta House. Limerick, is within biking distance of home, and so last week I biked over after college and met the team. I've been in Limerick 8 months, I've not long come out of street homelessness, and this is my first official community role since leaving homelessness. 

Pieta House play a vital role in suicide prevention and support of those affected by suicide, they provide safe and accessible intervention for people feeling suicidal and support for those affected by suicide. I admire them greatly. When I was at college a few years ago, a team came to the college to talk to us about Pieta House and the services offered, and I think it's amazing that they go into college and universities to ensure that students are aware of their services, students can be a vulnerable group to suicide. The Darkness into Light walk raises vital funds for Pieta House while bringing hope to people affected by suicide. Here's a link to their website:

https://www.pieta.ie/

I biked to Mungret to meet the team on Tuesday, nice people, a nice simple meeting, and I was heading home again before long. I decided that biking to the start point for 3 am on Saturday morning would be too much, so I booked a taxi, and because of past taxi experiences, I booked for it to arrive at 2 am.

I was up at 1 am, having gone to bed early. The taxi was early, and I was at the start point for 2.30. We went round putting up signs and banners, and then volunteers were gathering and a group of us went with a security man to the car park and route from the car park.

I ended up on the front line of car parking, which worked well for me, the security man was keeping traffic and pedestrians separate where the road and footpath met, and he was really clear with instructions which was good, and there were no incidents as people parked and gathered. 

There was just one awkward person, who decided he'd force me out of the position I needed to be in in order to direct traffic, he was driving a huge Dublin registered Chelsea Tractor and trying to fit his car into a space too small for his vehicle. He was really rude, and as he squeezed his car into the space, the couple sitting in the car next to his, got out, checked the tiny space between his car and theirs and said to him 'There's not much room there', he ignored them and me, blew cigarette smoke over us all and stalked off. the couple started their car and re-parked it. 

Mayor John Moran parked, and his dog Henri was barking at my arm signals as I directed traffic, I said 'Shh, Henri, it's too early'. It was 4 am and still dark. 

When traffic was all done, I went to the main gathering area and followed the walkers down to the road. A lady with two gorgeous dogs got me to take some photos for her at the doggie start of the the walk. Then I walked up to the road. 

There was a lone female Garda doing the traffic duty on the roundabout, while a Garda van followed the walkers. I stayed there and directed stragglers.

I was there to cheer the runners and walkers back in, and most were nice, one woman was rude to me, no known reason, but people are like that. 1800 walkers and only two people not in the mood for manners. 

When John Moran and his cohort arrived back, towards the end of the walkers, instead of congratulating the Mayor, I congratulated his dog, and they all laughed. 

Then as the glorious sun rose, there was a nice breakfast, sandwiches, pastries and tea and coffee. It was a great atmosphere and I was honoured to be there. 

I walked back into town with my headphones on, very happy. I forget that I'm disabled, and marshal duties are physical. I had thankfully packed a folding walking stick in my bag and when I started struggling, I leaned on that and staggered into town at about 7 am, exhausted and in pain.

I went into church to put my prayers in the basket as usual, got a cup of tea and a copy of the Post, and sat on the wall, feeling as if I'd never get up again...until the leader of another community volunteering project I belong to, came along and asked if I was litter picking, and I said yes, hauled myself up and dragged myself litter picking with the others. 

We had a great morning, the weather was fantastic, and we went for coffee afterwards, it was a great time, but I was absolutely wrecked at the end. I did my library tasks and got some shopping, went home and collapsed for the rest of the weekend. What a fantastic experience! 

Never forget where it all began, 8 months ago, and now here I am, fully registered and belonging. Limerick 10/05/2025

St Patrick's Day 2025

Due to circumstances, this has taken more than a month to produce. Reasons to live include days like this.

 It was my first St. Patrick's Day in Limerick, and what a day it was! 

I am still street homeless but that didn't stop me from having an awesome day. 

I was up early, unsure what the buses would be like. I was at Raheen and I wanted to be in town early, we were starting at 9.30 but I left plenty of time. I had breakfast and sorted myself out, waited a while for the bus, and one arrived at 8 am. 

In town I walked around and had some tea, waited at the train station. Used the toilet a number of times and had more tea. I was so nervous, terrified in fact, could I really do this? Could I be in the Limerick St. Patrick's Day parade? 

I didn't know the others well. I walked round, and was made welcome, tea and good biscuits and craic, and then we walked down to Sarsfield Barracks where we'd start from. We had fun, we sang 'Limerick you're my lady'. We had a long wait in the wind up there, right up near Punches Cross, so some of us went to the shop. I had an Irish flag with a balloon, the balloon burst in the shop and gave everyone a heart attack.

Then, speaking of heart attacks, someone had a heart attack, not in our group but some distance down towards town, so an ambulance came screaming through, and the parade was delayed by 40 minutes. 

Eventually we set off, stopping and starting as we did. We were behind the wonderful street theatre performers and enjoyed their act as we marched.

It was a fantastic day, the crowds were huge, I didn't recognise the the streets, behind barriers and with the huge crowds, everyone cheering and waving. It was amazing. I only really knew where we were when we got to Henry Street Garda Station, and walked down Henry Street, past the Stands and onto Arthur's Quay. 

These were my signs, the last one I held up every time the boss wasn't looking, and after the parade as I sat and drank my tea, and do you know what? After years of searching, I finally found the Irish sense of humour through that sign: 

 

I had been worried about my ability to walk the whole route without a stick, but I did it. No problem, we crossed the bridge and ended up near Merchant's Quay. 

The crowds were huge, groups were still marching, I found my way back through the crowds to a toilet and then some tea and then coffee with a friend, and so on, it was a fantastic day, not crazy like Dublin, bigger than Longford and Wexford by a long way, a real party atmosphere without everything being swamped, it was easy to get tea and toilets after the parade, which is what mattered to me at the time.