Sad News

Yesterday I heard that someone had died. The obituary didn't say how, but it would have been by taking his life or by self-neglect as he wouldn't eat or drink a lot of the time. 

May the deceased rest in eternal peace and may his loved ones know peace and comfort. 

A year ago that person asked me to help him to take his life. 

It was a terrifying and stressful time a year ago, he'd tried to get the means to take his life, and couldn't.
Sadly although he meant it, his friends brushed it off and said 'He's always doing that, ignore him' but I couldn't, so I, with no experience of mental health teams and so on, managed to persuade them that he wouldn't speak by phone or call out to them as he was a recluse and in despair. 

Although they called out, took action, worked with him, it wasn't possible to give him a spark, a reason to want to live, but I entrusted it to them as I would be gone and they are professionals and took the matter seriously, credit to them, their human and concerned approach was appreciated. I was included as if I was a family member, both by them and by him, but while I was there he was open that he wanted to die, and nothing, not friends, not activities, nothing in his life gave him something he wanted to live for.

This is what I wrote at the time: 

https://lifeforce198.blogspot.com/2025/08/its-hard-to-know-what-to-do-when-youre.html

As a result of this and the other suicide mentioned, and my sister's suicidal behaviour when I was young, I went on to train in suicide prevention and other mental health topics, so a legacy of the recently deceased is that I can help others who are in distress. I am very glad that Limerick has two dedicated and compassionate suicide prevention teams who patrol the Shannon edges, they help many people, but a person can decide to take their life anywhere and not always with advance warning that others notice. 

God rest his soul. Sleep well, brother, I know it was so tough and you hurt so much every day and waited because you felt that was all you could do, but your friends will miss you a lot. 

I am sorry to say that I still wont always say the right thing or word things correctly, I am human, and I am struggling myself although not suicidal, as the man who left me on the streets of Limerick two years ago is doing a prolonged faux celebrity stunt run in the press which disrupts my life and work, he's been at it since March, and he's using a long dead politician who was as bad as himself as a prop for that. 

We all have mental health and a need for support, and for me this is particularly difficult as people who have abused me, including the man who left me on the streets of Limerick, used 'Mental health' as a term to try to excuse what they did to me because of my reaction, so the term still traumatises me and makes seeking help hard. But we all have mental and physical health, and in the current climate, getting help can be hard. My late friend had stopped seeking help because he didn't find help that helped, he'd stopped talking because no one heard him. 

I am fortunate in having a good boss and several friends who I can be open with about my distress, about the shock of yesterday's news, it's important to talk, so please do. 

A clumsy prose in memory:

https://castletroywords.blogspot.com/2026/08/goodnight-brother.html

ASIST - Applied Suicide Intervention Training

 It's been a strange week. I came home from the bittersweet trip to Dublin, and prepared for the unknown, a two-day ASIST, suicide prevention course. I was nervous, as always with the unknown, I wanted to back out.

The morning the course began, I woke up to an email from the Garda who had been on the case where I was seriously assaulted, he told me that the CCTV had been retained and if I wanted to go ahead with the matter, to contact him or another Garda. This left me a bit thrown when I'd planned on leaving the house early to get to the course, but nonethless, I headed to the course. 

The first day of the course was extremely intensive, but I kept swimming. At breaktime I got an email from the hospital, 9 months after the assault, they acknowledged the matter and launched an investigation into the hospital's failings. Weirder and weirder.

By the end of the first day of the course I was exhausted and in pain. But I got through the day well and enjoyed the company of the group. Some of us sat together at lunch and chatted. 

The second day was a little less intense and I was better prepared. I had my neck brace, painkillers, soft drinks, and so on. At lunchtime I walked in the nearby nature reserve, enjoying the cold and the wind. I sat and had a light lunch there, and then joined the others in the canteen with a cup of tea.

In the afternoon we did an informal assessment, we paired off and role played a helper and a person in crisis. It went well, we'd all been nervous. 

The course is well worth it, and is offered free by HSE, the office for suicide prevention offers a range of courses on suicide and self-harm, and I'd previously done an online course which I found a bit triggering, but I didn't find ASIST triggering. We got our certificates and it was sad to say goodbye. I really liked some of the group and very much identified with some of them, and I didn't feel out of place, although I felt a bit embarrassed when I choked. If I get very tired, my muscles struggle and I choke easily.

Wow. I've learned a lot, and gained skills I needed. I'm very happy, very tired, and still startled by the hospital and garda, 9 months after the assault, both making contact the same day about investigations. What a funny week. 

Both days I walked home despite my tiredness and the distance, enjoying and needing the fresh air. 

If you want a suicide prevention course, have a look at NOSP, but not if you are suicidal:

https://www2.hse.ie/mental-health/helping-someone-else/suicide-prevention-training-programmes/