It's been a strange week. I came home from the bittersweet trip to Dublin, and prepared for the unknown, a two-day ASIST, suicide prevention course. I was nervous, as always with the unknown, I wanted to back out.
The morning the course began, I woke up to an email from the Garda who had been on the case where I was seriously assaulted, he told me that the CCTV had been retained and if I wanted to go ahead with the matter, to contact him or another Garda. This left me a bit thrown when I'd planned on leaving the house early to get to the course, but nonethless, I headed to the course.
The first day of the course was extremely intensive, but I kept swimming. At breaktime I got an email from the hospital, 9 months after the assault, they acknowledged the matter and launched an investigation into the hospital's failings. Weirder and weirder.
By the end of the first day of the course I was exhausted and in pain. But I got through the day well and enjoyed the company of the group. Some of us sat together at lunch and chatted.
The second day was a little less intense and I was better prepared. I had my neck brace, painkillers, soft drinks, and so on. At lunchtime I walked in the nearby nature reserve, enjoying the cold and the wind. I sat and had a light lunch there, and then joined the others in the canteen with a cup of tea.
In the afternoon we did an informal assessment, we paired off and role played a helper and a person in crisis. It went well, we'd all been nervous.
The course is well worth it, and is offered free by HSE, the office for suicide prevention offers a range of courses on suicide and self-harm, and I'd previously done an online course which I found a bit triggering, but I didn't find ASIST triggering. We got our certificates and it was sad to say goodbye. I really liked some of the group and very much identified with some of them, and I didn't feel out of place, although I felt a bit embarrassed when I choked. If I get very tired, my muscles struggle and I choke easily.
Wow. I've learned a lot, and gained skills I needed. I'm very happy, very tired, and still startled by the hospital and garda, 9 months after the assault, both making contact the same day about investigations. What a funny week.
Both days I walked home despite my tiredness and the distance, enjoying and needing the fresh air.
If you want a suicide prevention course, have a look at NOSP, but not if you are suicidal:
https://www2.hse.ie/mental-health/helping-someone-else/suicide-prevention-training-programmes/
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