Air on a G-String

Good evening. I hope you're okay. This blog isn't being written as and when I'd envisioned but never mind.

Let me tell you about my day. 

It's my day off from work and I fell out of bed sleepy after a tough week. I had an exam at 9 am and I thought I was doing fine and would be all set. It was an online exam, due last week and delayed. 

I went to set up, my laptop crashed and the other one isn't the right spec. I fought to get the laptop working and it started, and then decided to install updates. 

I was seething as I logged in in danger of losing my exam because of the time. The proctor knows me and is the most patient person in the world so he told me to stay calm, and he helped me set up.

If I'd taken the exam last week it would have been 100% but I got 85% this time. Which is better than being disqualified. Many thanks to a really good proctor who has calmed me down before.

One of my next adventures was very Limerick. I recently acquired my second ukulele but it needed re-stringing, so I was taking it to the music shop in town.

The one missing string was a G String. Limerick is crazy and so am I, so I wandered round town with my uke, asking people if they'd seen my G String.

In Limerick the reply would be 'Well 'oose 'ouse did you leave it to, you hun?' 

When I'd worn the joke out, I headed for the music shop. Left my new baby with them, became a music shop person properly, seeing as I was having an instrument repaired, and went for my shopping.

Later I went and collected the newly repaired instrument, and headed for my bus. I had no plectrum so I used my leap card and the bus queue giggled. 

'No busking on the bus' the driver told me sternly 'Not even Limerick you're a lady' 

At home, messaging with a friend, we were reminded of my survey a few years ago, where I walked round Limerick asking people if they were normal.

My friend commented that I had surely packed my sanity when I moved over from France, but Limerick had other ideas.

Coat Tail Riding

 It's been a long time since I wrote on this blog. I've been busy with work and study. 

This blog was 'suicide prevention, mental wellness and Limerick' and was sparked by poor treatment by the man who left me on the streets as he continued to interfere in my life, and the subsequent matching poor treatment by local homeless services which nearly made me give up in despair. 

The man who left me on the streets has delusions of being a celebrity or public figure and does weird stunts in the press. He did this recently and of course it triggered all the trauma. 

I spoke to someone and asked why he did this. He kind of glorifies dead people and shows off in obituaries columns which is very odd. Sometimes I think he's afraid of his own death and what might come out when he dies. 

I was thinking of him earlier. I was in Tipperary and I thought about him coming to see me, and each time, spending all his time on his phone and texting, which is rude to say the least, but certainly told me where I was on the scale of importance. 

Two years ago he left me having a breakdown from his behaviour. It's almost two years since I arrived in Limerick.

I asked someone about his faux celebrity stunts off the backs of other people, especially dead people. 

These are some reasons they came up with. 

1. Basking in reflected Glory, a psychology term for gaining status by associating yourself with admired or successful people. 
2. Virtue Signalling.
3. Name-dropping
4. coat tail riding
5. Self-promotion by association/image management/reputation building.
6. Hero-worshipping - a strange thing to do with dead people in public. 
7. Self-aggrandizement
8. Canonizing
9. Hagiography - this and the previous one really describe his games, he makes dead people into saintly people to get himself attention, his recent one was a notorious troublemaker politician and drunk driver who got his arresting garda dismissed from the force. 

Someone did a blog and touched on this. The blog isn't my work and does not describe the man who damaged me so much, but it's a spoof:

 Beyond Shannon Blog

The trauma of what this man did to me never really faded, because he refused to conclude or explain and walked away not just feeling no responsibility but still harming me by interfering in my life. Worse, his showing off indicates he thinks highly of himself and won't take responsibility for hurting me or others or treating the law as optional.

There's a darker element to the Dolores O'Riorden thing, she was sexually abused by someone who may have been high profile in Limerick, and the person was never brought to justice but apparently 'apologised' to her, you can't really apologise for sexual assaulting someone when they were a child. Abusers don't abuse just once. I am curious about why the man who harmed me so badly was fascinated with O'Riorden in her death. He makes a show of rubbing shoulders with high profile locals.

He absolutely wrecked my life. I have no idea why he decided I was a toy but I was surprisingly naive and let him take me over, steal my medical data and so on. 

Happy Easter 2026 from Lifeforce198

Good evening, 

Easter Saturday 2026. 

Just got home from a meeting to have a break before going out to the Easter Vigil. I'd been thinking about my poem 'Monaleen Church' and as it isn't in for a competition, I reposted it on Castletroy words: 

https://castletroywords.blogspot.com/2026/04/easter-memories-repost-of-monaleen.html

I should use URL shorteners, I know. 

So, Easter 2026, a pleasant enough time, a bit like last Christmas.

I went to the Last Supper service. Then yesterday I took part in 'The Big Clean Up' which is Limerick's Unique festival of spring cleaning the town and socialising. We had good celebrations of goodies and scones and tea and more goodies, I made it home with a load of snaffled goodies in my bag. I got part of the Stations of the Cross on the way home, watched the whole of it online, and I went to the Lord's Passion service at the local church.

Easter goodies at the Big Cleanup. 

I have been very busy despite it being a holiday, major spring clean of my own things, and also everything in the wash including bed sheets. Also I've been revising, doing important paperwork and much more. 

Now I'm heading for the Easter Vigil, and thinking the weather is the same as last Easter, which was a week earlier than this one.  

Easter Sunday 2026.

The Easter Vigil was good. I went to the local church again for that. I'd come back from a meeting and I'd walked alongside the Shannon to and from the meeting, with the storm blowing the Shannon back in big waves, awesome, and I got home for a quick break, thinking Easter is a very busy time, not much rest. I enjoyed the Easter Vigil, we did have a fire, but it was a little thing, hardly visible, not like the blazing brazier at Monaleen Church. I did consider going to Monaleen church but I've been so busy, so tired, I thought I'd simply be too tired to get home so late at night. I don't tend to be out late, and coming home just after 10 last night was late enough for me.

The Shannon going a bit wild.

This morning I woke peaceful with no alarms going off. The sun was shining and it was quiet. I enjoyed a lazy start. I watched my old favourite film 'LEnfant de Noel' just to prove I can get the seasons confused. I made up dinner tubs for the week, spaghetti and tomato and sauce, and I got on with studying and paperwork, I realised I didn't really want to go over for Easter Mass at the local church so I watched the Easter Mass at my church online. Sometimes I need to slow down.

The sunshine turned to heavy showers and strong winds, but by 1 pm it was okay to bike down to get my Easter dinner, and what a dinner it was! Yummy. Turkey with mash and gravy and loads of veg, I always ask for more veg as he does really tasty veg. There was Eaton Mess for dessert, delicious, and I got the Easter Egg I wanted. I saw the lads getting Kitkat eggs and I thought 'Oh no' because Kitkat isn't my favourite. But I got a white chocolate buttons egg, I was delighted. Ah it was lovely. Biking back along the Shannon, town has been crazy because two hurling matches were back to back at TUS Gaelic Grounds and the second one was Limerick, so the traffic was manic. 

I came home, tired, full of good food, enjoyed some Easter chocolate, and the sun is out again now, although it's windy and the clouds keep moving through. Today and tomorrow are just study and paperwork and final touches to the spring clean, maybe I'll relax and rest a little.

The box is empty, the egg has risen.

On a final note, as well as enjoying Easter, I remember Passover. Passover 1st fell immediately before Maundy Thursday, on the Wednesday.

It's a strange one. My dad was a Messianic Jew, and I guess I am too. He was very orthodox about it though, he used to say 'You don't 'celebrate Passover' or say 'Happy Passover', you remember Passover, it's a solemn feast. We didn't celebrate Easter at home but we acknowledged Christ Crucified for our sins and Christ Risen.

One of my memories of my father was him singing this, his hands in the air, joyful. It's still one of my favourites: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RbBOOmkMLmI

My circumstances mean I have no oven, and grilling or frying lamb for Passover, is difficult even if I could afford it, so I asked my old friend Michael, AKA God, if I could have chicken for Passover. God answered by putting diced lamb in the reduced section at the supermarket and ensuring I had time and peace to grill it. So I had my Passover meal with lamb and bitter herbs. For so many years I couldn't read the story of Exodus without crying because I would always hear my dad's voice telling the story, and this year I found a nice neutral animated film, no extra dramas like some church films, it told the whole story in a calm way. although I told the film off every time there was a short cut that missed a detail - very Jewish of me. 

So there we have it, festivals and holidays. Beautiful. Christ is Risen! Hallelujah! 

St Patricks Day 2026

 It was a great day. It was a great few days. 

This year I was on double duty.

Last year I marched with a group, this year I was assisting for the international bands contest and then for the main parade. 

It was a little last minute. But there it was. First thing on Sunday, headed down, didn't know what to expect. I'd walked down.

I was pleased to find that there was tea and biscuits, toilets, all the civilised things. It was a friendly meeting and then we headed to the start point. 

We stood for a long time as the bands and the rain arrived. The rain was hard and heavy and windy. The girls in short outfits and those without ponchos suffered a little. 

Eventually everyone was lined up. I was up front, shepherding a USA band, I loved the USA bands last year so it was good. We waited, a bit of rain fell, and the band behind struck up a practice, my band decided to dance to them. It was fun. 

We marched, through the streets of Limerick and had a great time. At Arthurs Quay I enjoyed the music and craic as the bands gathered and eventually I walked home. A great day.

Then yesterday, St Patricks Day, the same again but much more hectic.

I walked down again, and was there in good time. Tea and jambons and biscuits.

We headed to the barracks, and I was put on front line, checking and guiding groups, trying to keep excited children and families out of the path of cars going in and out. It was a hectic few hours. 

Then we moved to the zones of mad chaotic people, milling, shouting, playing. 

The chaos started clarifying into groups, many groups, big excited groups, and we started to move. 

A little.

We moved down towards the gate but had to wait for some time. It was rather hard trying to shepherd a lively group and keep them bouncing off the vehicles. Then we were off through town. As last year the streets were packed with people and I was hard at work keeping an eye on everyone rather than looking at the crowd, the usual high fives and so on but I was keeping an eye so no children were left behind and that they didn't get too boisterous.

I marched the route with them, I had one leg splinted and both with supports, and I was full of meds from a recent severe respiratory infection, but on top of the world and marching well. A fantastic day.

At the end, again, sinking into a bench on Arthurs Quay. Legs given out, tired. Then I walked back up, saw some of the floats as I walked, and headed for base. Base had sandwiches, nice ones, tea, toilets, a good atmosphere. 

I hung out in town for a while, enjoying the atmosphere, same as last year, but noisy teens got a bit much, and then the rain came down, and I was glad to crawl onto a nice dry bus and head home. 

At home I was totally zoned out and lazy, watched some things on the tablet, ate, did this and that, and hardly bothered with life, had an early night. 

This morning, achy, well and able, walking well, up and about as normal.

Good times, great festival. 

ASIST - Applied Suicide Intervention Training

 It's been a strange week. I came home from the bittersweet trip to Dublin, and prepared for the unknown, a two-day ASIST, suicide prevention course. I was nervous, as always with the unknown, I wanted to back out.

The morning the course began, I woke up to an email from the Garda who had been on the case where I was seriously assaulted, he told me that the CCTV had been retained and if I wanted to go ahead with the matter, to contact him or another Garda. This left me a bit thrown when I'd planned on leaving the house early to get to the course, but nonethless, I headed to the course. 

The first day of the course was extremely intensive, but I kept swimming. At breaktime I got an email from the hospital, 9 months after the assault, they acknowledged the matter and launched an investigation into the hospital's failings. Weirder and weirder.

By the end of the first day of the course I was exhausted and in pain. But I got through the day well and enjoyed the company of the group. Some of us sat together at lunch and chatted. 

The second day was a little less intense and I was better prepared. I had my neck brace, painkillers, soft drinks, and so on. At lunchtime I walked in the nearby nature reserve, enjoying the cold and the wind. I sat and had a light lunch there, and then joined the others in the canteen with a cup of tea.

In the afternoon we did an informal assessment, we paired off and role played a helper and a person in crisis. It went well, we'd all been nervous. 

The course is well worth it, and is offered free by HSE, the office for suicide prevention offers a range of courses on suicide and self-harm, and I'd previously done an online course which I found a bit triggering, but I didn't find ASIST triggering. We got our certificates and it was sad to say goodbye. I really liked some of the group and very much identified with some of them, and I didn't feel out of place, although I felt a bit embarrassed when I choked. If I get very tired, my muscles struggle and I choke easily.

Wow. I've learned a lot, and gained skills I needed. I'm very happy, very tired, and still startled by the hospital and garda, 9 months after the assault, both making contact the same day about investigations. What a funny week. 

Both days I walked home despite my tiredness and the distance, enjoying and needing the fresh air. 

If you want a suicide prevention course, have a look at NOSP, but not if you are suicidal:

https://www2.hse.ie/mental-health/helping-someone-else/suicide-prevention-training-programmes/

Back on the chain gang

 After an unwanted break from volunteer work, I managed to get a shift, weekends for a few hours, community work. I'm delighted. 

I was very happy to do my first shift at the weekend. And it's exactly what I want to be doing. 

Our local volunteer centre is a bit lacklustre, where the Dublin ones used to pursue me with shifts, the local one is hard to communicate with, and the other group I worked with changed leadership and also became difficult to get hold of. 

I am determined, so I found something to do in the end. And the best cure for all ills is volunteer work, even if it can make me feel like collapsing physically. But like everything, I will work to overcome, and see if I can get some strength back. 

Apart from that, I am busy with the pursuit of publishing, and also writing poems, and now competing in poetry contests. 

That's about all for now. Life is a whirlwind, there's an imminent Dublin trip, so much going on. 

Life force, power, pure joy. 

Life Force

 I hope you're settling into the new year well. 

My revolutions are going okay. I don't use any sugar in my tea. 

The other day I did my initial suicide prevention training. I have first aid first response but suicide training is equally necessary. 

You may have read my previous post. This is about the two suicidal people who I had to help.

Life Force 198: It's hard to know what to do when you're actually confronted by it

 It's good to have training and I will go on and do more training. 

When people are suicidal, it is like being in a dark tunnel with no light, no way out. People are precious, we have to look after them and support them. The most important things people need in that dark tunnel, is people with them and support. 

Support is important. It seems, after all this time and struggle, I have more support. It certainly makes a difference to me. We all need someone to turn to, a friendly face, a friendly place, a cup of tea. 

We all need to talk, to get things off our chest, however unimportant, how we don't like a new TV show, and how we don't fancy Cillian Murphy, and so on, just talking, reaching out. It was the hardest thing in the world for me to reach out but I needed to. We all need to link in with others, even if we like a lot of time alone as I do. 

As I mentioned at Christmas, I got obsessed with 'A Christmas Carol, the Musical' and I love the lines from the song 'Let us love till we die, and God Bless us, every one'. 

By the way, here's a link to great life lessons: 145 Life Lessons Everyone Needs to Learn

I'm not paid for links, it's something I found useful and agree with a number of the lessons. 

Happy New Year from Lifeforce198

 

Happy New Year in a few hours! 

What am I up to? Writing out New Year's prayers, worrying - nothing new, listening to music, sorting photo albums and files, and so on. 

How do I see the New Year in? With tea of course, with the London Fireworks live, again I give a nod to that awful country for New Year. I do New Year's Revolutions, because it's more fun, and I have a bottle of 198 champagne on hand - Apple and Elderflower sparkling water. 

So, what a year, highlights? Being violently assaulted and put in hospital, seeing firsthand how our hospital is no longer functioning safely. And then there was Leinster House, memories to savour. One thing stands out to me from the year, the kindness and friendliness, everyone who stood by me. I won't name you all, but if I name a few, they won't mind - Shane, Theresa, Michelle, Bob and the gang, Camilla, Ian, Ger, John, Lisa, Paul, all of ye, too many to name and some might not want to be named, so many people who have made life brighter. 

And at the beginning of December I had a great weekend in Dublin, a fantastic catchup with everyone, especially those who I haven't seen since I moved to Limerick. So many special people. It made me laugh that the lazer beams from the awful light show on Dublin's O'Connell Street can be seen all the way to South Dublin. 

In brief my New Year's Revolution started up before the New Year, and it's about changing my reactions and trying to improve how I relate to people. With the level of trauma and psychological damage I've suffered, I struggle miserably with interactions and relating to people and I need to change, but it's not overnight, especially when trauma to do with relationships is hardwired into me. But I'll try with help. 

Wishing you a Happy New Year or at least a peaceful one if things are difficult. Remember what I said last year. Not everyone can have a happy Christmas or New Year, the image of happy families is an image, and many people struggle, take heart, it's not you, it's life. 

 Dr O'Brien, I've 

took your railway set, hope you don't miss it. 

The fireworks were great, both live from London and in our local area. And it's New Year's Day evening now. I walked into town, there were buses and my bike, but I think I needed walking time. I went to the 'Sober Rave' at Wickham Way for a while, I snagged a free ticket and attended out of curiosity. 

It was interesting, a real disco/warehouse rave feel but no drugs or alcohol, people dancing sober, loud music and lights, great fun. I avoid pubs, clubs and alcohol behaviour, so it was nice to be able to take part. I hope they keep it up and grow it. 

Happy Christmas from Life Force 198!

It's been too long. I've been so caught up in life's dramas that I've barely been blogging. 

Happy Christmas to you. Yes you! Don't be lonely, I'm here, life force, power, pure joy! 

familiar Limerick sight 

It's my second Christmas here, although I was around last Christmas, just not officially in Limerick on Christmas day or after the working week finished in Limerick, I was of course a fingernail over the border, in Shannon. 

I'm glad to be here, imperfect and broken as life and Limerick are. I'm glad I saw this Christmas in in Limerick. If you want to see my feelings in poetry, I've written something up on Castletroy Words: 

Christmas in Limerick 

It's Christmas Eve. I'm autistic and pedantic so I have a list of everything Christmas and the run up to Christmas should contain, and I can't think of anything that's missing this year, apart from figs, it was hard to get figs, by the time I got to thinking of food over Christmas, it was running a little late and nowhere had figs left. 

This Christmas I had my trip to Dublin. I had a weekend in Dublin, a wonderful special weekend, very special. I got to meet up with people who I haven't seen since my disastrous crash-landing in Limerick 16 months ago. It was an incredible weekend. 

This December I've had an overdose of carol singing, loved it, had mulled wine, just a nip, and didn't find that mulled wine inspiring, it was more plum and less spice, not to my taste, but at least I tried it. I guess I was spoilt having grown up where I did, where people really knew how to make mulled wine for carolling. Anyway, we had two great nights carolling and even someone throwing a firework didn't deter us. Eeejits. 

Limerick's tree leans to the left...

I've enjoyed church, Christmas meals, Christmas parties even, see, the old me from long ago is resurfacing, but in my case, not alcohol shaped parties, real parties. I have been swamped with generosity in the form of presents and food, I've had meals and coffees with friends in Limerick and in Dublin, I've enjoyed pre-Christmas church, Christmas films, Christmas music, pulling crackers, giving and receiving cards and gifts, enjoying the brightly decorated houses as I walk and bike around, the lights and trees in town, my own little Christmas table with a small tree, lights, candles and the cards, presents and goodies laid out. I got my 10 cent decorations and little tree at the same place as last year - poor and happy am I, of course that's the thing about Christmas, remember Tiny Tim being so happy, and so delighted they could afford a small chicken. If any of you haven't seen the musical version of 'A Christmas Carol' I recommend it. I don't need excess or alcohol, Christmas can be made up of many things and not costing much - don't snort if Christmas leaves you in debt, I live hand to mouth, Jesus was born to save us and that's what the celebration is about, not material things.

This evening we had a lovely evening Mass, packed with families home for the holidays. Now I'm enjoying slouching around, the house to myself, eating everything I shouldn't and drinking tea. 

Do any of you know 'Angela's Christmas'? I may have mentioned it last Christmas. It's a heartwarming little tale, told by the late great Frank McCourt himself about an adventure his mother got up to when she was young at Christmas, it's touching and funny as well as sad. Very Frank McCourt. Since I came to Limerick it has become part of the Christmas list for me, every year new songs, films and traditions join me, this year it is the musical of 'A Christmas Carol'. I also like Andre Rieu's 'Home for Christmas' concert, which is a cross between film and music. 

I have my films, 'Home Alone' 1 and 2, the many sequels are just money spinners, they aren't Home Alone films, no Kevin. Miracle on 34th Street, the newer one, Nativity 1, the rest are just money spinners and really bad, A Christmas Prince 1, 2 sometimes, but 3 is just a money spinner, the story is gone by then, I wish sequals could be banned. Then there's the trio - The Snowman, The Bear and Father Christmas - no I'll never grow up, Frosty the Snowman gets a look in too. Then there's a rare film called 'Heaven Sent' and that's a kind of sentimental thing, I remember it in French when I lived in France and actually it was a better film in French. A Christmas Carol in various forms is a good watch, then there's the Grinch, I prefer the animated version, then there's my go-to favourite, 'Deck the Halls' - the one with Buddy Hall and Steve Finch, not the old film. I never really took to 'It's a Wonderful Life' the old classic everyone names. The Holiday - my old favourite from France, and 'Love Actually' - that classic British one which reminds me my heritage isn't all bad. There are so many Christmas films, many are just romances with Christmas decorations, but if you are all 'Bah humbug' just try watching any old film you like and making the most of the Christmas break to relax. I'm going to watch Mary Poppins right now because that smoky London atmosphere is Christmassy enough, if you know and love London, seeing the old London is a treat. 

I nod to my heritage each winter, I start in November with the livestream of the Hastings Bonfire Parade and carnival. I join them with livestream and I instantly move on to the livestream walks of the London Christmas lights, atmospheric and unmissable, and I also watch the London Fireworks on New Year's. These are my personal traditions. Modern technology enables people who live apart from countries and places that they love to retain links and traditions and not miss out on events like those. It's the good side of modern tech. 

Hot chocolate is expensive in Ireland, everything is incredibly expensive in Ireland now, but I tend to have one hot Chocolate before Christmas. This year it was at a nice cafe on Roches Street, and I had that in a slight hurry before carol singing. 

This December I got to visit Dublin, Cork - (don't ask) and Galway, and I got to Killarney in November. I didn't expect my normal Galway visit this year, so much was happening, but I made it. I got my usual photos of the Christmas markets, but it was a tough one in many ways, including being my first trip there since someone special there died. Still, I made it and kept the tradition. I remember doing that trip in the snow in the past but this year it just rained. I didn't make it to Belfast this year, nor last year, but in my mind, my memory, my photos, I'm there, enjoying the Christmas markets and everything else I love about Belfast. The song 'One more mile to go' by Chris de Burgh, reminds me of coming back home from Belfast to Dublin after a Christmas trip, although that song has older memories for me as well. Lets talk songs. 

I have a lifelong love for Christmas songs, stemming from my friendship with my brother, which was cemented when we were children in a violent dangerous homeless hostel at Christmas. We used to hide, listen to Christmas music secretly on headphones and plot to make Christmas special for the others. That is how Christmas became special and magical to me, and has remained so despite all the lonely, violent, cold and poverty-Stricken Christmases. The magic is still there, although through December this year, I felt so tired and stressed and unhappy that I almost missed out on the magic, I had my mind on life issues and felt I wasn't going to celebrate Christmas at all, but Christmas has pulled me along and pulled me in, and it's been good. I know it's only 8.15 on Christmas Eve, but it still feels like one of the better Christmases, and I'm not isolated and dependent like last year, I'm actually in Limerick, and I like that. I like it a lot. 

I hope to spend the break sorting a lot of stuff out, stuff that's been left while I was caught up in problems and dramas. I was watching Mary Poppins but when I wrote about 'One more mile to go' I really wanted to hear it, so I'm playing it on repeat. Another Chris, Chris Norman, did some brilliant underrated Christmas songs, including 'Christmas Song' not to be confused with 'That's Christmas' which I don't like, his actual 'Christmas Song' has some of my favourite lyrics 'Through the ages pain and sorrow never can be justified, comes the dawning of tomorrow, love will always be my guide'. Idealistic and not necessarily true, but beautiful. This song reminds me most of my Christmas in the Pyrenees: V1 Raylor Us H1 16 9    I always double that one with 'For you' which for me is a Christmas song as well, and also my love song for France. I remember driving home from the Pyrenees, the steel grey winter sky of my home department rising ahead and the signs for Lorient, beloved Lorient, passing me. 

Shannon Airport of course. 

I'm taking a short break from writing because I want to walk round the neighbourhood and look at Christmas lights, do you ever do that? Have you ever been to any of those huge charity displays, there used to be a really big one in our county town where I used to live. I never actually went in to see it, but I used to drive past and weave through the crowds going in and out. I was a delivery driver on evening shifts back then, and sometimes I wish I was again, I wish I could turn back time, but we can't turn back time or change the past, we can only be here and now. 

I came back from a nice walk. I walked to the main road and round the estates. I saw a lot of lights, it's cold out there. It was the first cold clear day after what seems like months of rain. It has added to the good feeling of Christmas. 

There are so many songs over the year that make me think of Christmases past, starting with 'Old Toy Trains' and 'I believe in Father Christmas' from when myself and my brother used to make Christmas magical and on to 'Christmas Lights' which reminds me of losing two friends five years apart both at Christmas. The songs, the carols, they have memories, and as years pass, new songs, new memories. 

It's 11.20 and I wavered between early night, tired from the day's efforts, and staying up doing housework and other tasks, and I stayed up of course, no early start tomorrow, Mass isn't until 11.30, dinner is 3 pm, and I will be lazy and then have eggs and rashers for breakfast, with some of the nice coffee I've been given, a treat.

The Leaky Teapot and the Presidential Election

In the last few days I've been to the Leaky Teapot a few times. Drinking tea while doing paperwork or waiting for things. 

I enjoyed seeing the Shannon as I sat in the window. In the summer the trees are in leaf and they block the Shannon out. I didn't know if I'd see my second winter in Limerick, but here I am. The Shannon has been fierce like the Corrib in the last few days and I've sat and watched it from the cafe and stood down there on the Quay as well. There was some filming going on down there. 

The Leaky Teapot was busy this second time, and I was lucky to get a window seat. I sat with my tea, I was waiting in between my messages and errands, and the afternoon Mass, and so I had a cup of tea, can't usually afford food, but to my surprise, people who knew me were eating and got me a meal. This is my Limerick, and this is how kind and generous people have always been to me while I've been in Limerick. I enjoyed curry, rice and chips. Chips with curry and rice is an Irish thing and very pleasant. 

leaky teapot

On the subject of kindness. I watched the presidential race with interest. I am not supposed to be political or personal or biased, but it was a very clear cut race. There should have been more candidates, yes, but the winner won. 

The man who left me on the streets of Limerick in the beginning is a strong FG personality. I found out through him about politics, about FG, and about where things are going wrong in Ireland. He claimed to be friends with the FG presidential candidate and have her number, before she was a presidential candidate of course. 

The independent candidate Catherine Connolly, carried herself well throughout the campaign, was clear on her mandate and very human, able to reach people. She is very natural and friendly and people warmed to her. The desperate mudslinging by Right Wing Fine Gael backfired and made them look very bad. 

Something I found a bit shocking when I came to Ireland and especially when I went to college in Dublin, was women of grandmother age trying to be sexy. I've not seen this in the UK or France or any country, but figure hugging and revealing clothes, lots of makeup, accessories, scarlet nails, in older women, it has made me sad to see, because they shouldn't need to be trying like that. It's my opinion and I'm totally natural myself and have never tried to attract men. What stood out about Catherine Connolly was that she's totally natural, didn't try to hide herself behind any kind of paint, and didn't try to show herself off, she conducted herself much as President Higgins himself would. I think people saw this. She presented as a person, not a mask. Anything in life that depends on wearing a mask is hollow. 

Her win was deserved. You have the Irish Times and the Irish Sun reading similar headlines of her win, but the Times, Right Wing, are adding about the spoiled vote, trying not to gain the disapproval of the nation while having a quiet sour grapes moment, while the Sun, Left Wing, adds a little bit about her rival giving her best wishes. The little difference between tabloid and broadsheet this morning.

The clocks changed last night, they still look the same to me but I got to stay in bed longer and laugh at the comments on the Journal headlines. 

That's the Shannon yesterday when I left the Leaky Teapot. A low rapid tide, often a paradise for kayakers. 

So Ireland has a new President but it was a messy and controversial election which left a number of potential candidates and candidates looking bad. It was an Irish breed of disaster.

The end result was okay. I guess at the moment I could say the same about my bumpy landing in Limerick. There has been a lot of bad but certainly some positives. 

Another fantastic weekend.

We reached out today in memory. To a year ago. To the start of 198. On Nassau Street, where old ghosts meet. You and I, we reached out. With the help of a friend I worked through those memories of gratitude and hope from the beginning of 198. I will never forget. I met a special man once, he was troubled but I saw the light in him, even if it was faded and faltering. I saw the light in him. Sometimes you meet people and see light in them. There are a number of people in Limerick who have light in them and some show by example what redemption looks like as well. 

So it hit 30 degrees this weekend. And in Limerick I joined the team on a very special project on Saturday. A special human being was in hospital and they hadn't been able to look after their house, so we went in and deep cleaned it. The weather was roasting and we worked hard, we sweated and we ached. We did this because we could and we wanted to. It was a fantastic day and very hard work, and of course great company, I am happy to say that I know people who are the salt of the earth. And now that special precious human being can come back to a clean and tidy house and wonder where we put everything, where everything is! 

Sadly, nearby, another special precious person, a man in his 70s, was violently murdered, and that cast a pall over our beloved Limerick on a weekend buzzing with events and sunshine. The person who caused the death has been charged, but it won't bring back a special Limerick character who has passed away, leaving his poor doggie pining for him. RIP and my deepest sympathies to the family and friends. 

When we finished the volunteer shift, I had a wash and changed, got some food, and watched the Pride Parade pass by as I waited for church. Pride looked a little diminished, perhaps because of the football final and other events. Then I caught up quickly with a friend or two before I went home for a shower and change before I went out on another errand. I could have had another busy sociable day today but I allowed myself to rest, well, physically anyway, I was doing trauma work for a large part of the day. Let yourself rest, especially if you are prone to overdoing things due to trauma. Rest. Look after yourself. 

We lost the football! Very sad. I love the sports, and I'm rooting for Cork next weekend for the only time in my life, because they're playing Tipperary. Ha. However, the lost football led to a lovely warm conversation with someone, which strayed almost inevitably to County Clare. You know how it is with me and County Clare, if I can, I will. 

Live, love, every minute. Life force, power, pure joy. 

A. 

A poem, if you have time. Not one of mine, but it reminds me a little of my late father, especially the last verse. 

Tony Harrison

1937 –

Though my mother was already two years dead
Dad kept her slippers warming by the gas,
put hot water bottles her side of the bed
and still went to renew her transport pass.

You couldn't just drop in.  You had to phone.
He'd put you off an hour to give him time
to clear away her things and look alone
as though his still raw love were such a crime.

He couldn't risk my blight of disbelief
though sure that very soon he'd hear her key
scrape in the rusted lock and end his grief.
He knew she'd just popped out to get the tea.

I believe life ends with death, and that is all.
You haven't both gone shopping; just the same,
in my new black leather phone book there's your name
and the disconnected number I still call. 

Limerick, your arms are still holding me - 9 month Anniversary

It's been a busy time. Last time I wrote I had the joy and honour of helping with Darkness into Light Limerick 2025. It was a great day and went back to back with another role I do, where I go picking litter.

There are many people in the world who would scoff at picking litter, why would anyone choose to do it? Isn't it a punishment for people doing community service? 

No, it's a wonderful thing to do, picking up rubbish that people have discarded, notably around benches and walls and in flower beds and hedges where people throw rubbish. When I worked with Tidy Towns in Dublin, we would pick litter by a pub with a roof terrace and the amount of intact beer glasses and alcohol bottles fished out of the hedge intact was stunning. 

The kind of people who choose to get up early on a weekend and pick litter are some of the best company in the world, they truly are, salt of the earth. If you're feeling unhappy with your social circle, come litter picking. As an autistic person, I will always be a quiet person, will always struggle to communicate in social situations, but what helps me is attending a volunteer event where everyone has such good in their hearts that they choose to be there and to do good, not for praise or acclaim but because they care, because they are motivated, because they are kind. I feel safe with such people and more able to relax and talk.

One of the best things you can do for your mental health is go volunteering, and sometimes the best time to do that is when you feel least like doing that. I felt bad and didn't want to get up in the morning, but I'm very glad I did. I'm glad I did something useful and met with good people, it helps me to recover from my recent bad experience. 

Don't worry, we don't abandon the bags there.

The wonderful 'Serve the City' team who I litter pick with, who also run services such as soup kitchens and language exchange for migrants who want to improve their English. Serve the City were some of the first people I met when I came to Limerick, and meeting them gave me hope of a future here. 

It's been a difficult two weeks for me since I was violently attacked by addicts in town and put in hospital, on a Saturday of all days, my favourite day to be in Limerick and be around the people who I admire so much because they looked after me so well when I was homeless. Two weeks of pain and anxiety and depression and my landscape changing. I'm still suffering pain because it hit my disabilities and old injuries hard, and I wasn't feeling too well today but I got out of bed and went litterpicking willingly, looked forward to it and was happy, after two weeks of struggling to get up and function. I am getting back to normal.

Thursday this past week was a great day for me, as I passed my First Aid Responder course well and I'd enjoyed the course a lot. I actually turned up with concussion after being attacked as it's an intensive course and we were told not to miss a single session. My horrified instructor told me I could only audit the practicals that week, which was better than missing out, and in the end my practical exam seemed to come out perfect, so I was delighted. I'm so happy. First Aid is a vital skill and due to my circumstances I've waited years to re-qualify. 

Let me tell you the story of how I first met the litterpicking team. I'm a community volunteer but they are not on the community volunteering list. I arrived in Limerick 9 months ago, shocked, hypothermic and soaked by the rain, and covered in ECG pads from a heart scare caused by the circumstances which left me homeless on the streets of Limerick when I'd been expecting to come to a tenancy and a bright future.

It was Friday September 13th, in the evening, and I was obviously not okay when I was first on the streets of Limerick, and from the moment I arrived, people showed care and concern for me, they looked after me, and that saved me, and eventually, as the support was unwavering and strong, I was able to start rebuilding my life. 

It was Saturday September 14th, 9 months ago today, that after no sleep overnight on the streets of Limerick, I walked down to Arthurs Quay, having dried out naturally and calmed down because the people who kept me company overnight were so funny and cheered me up, at Arthurs Quay I stumbled across a group who were litter picking and I wondered if it was Tidy Towns, who I'd worked with in Dublin, but no, I'd never heard of the group but they were friendly and inclusive and had sweets and coffee afterwards, so I took a liking to them. It was a hopeful turn to events and just in that short time, I realised I could have a future in Limerick, just that it would be different to the one I'd been led to expect. 

Today I was honoured to be with this same team, different location, lovely people, to litter pick again. It makes me so happy, I can't fully explain why, but it makes me so happy. I didn't join them for coffee, as I said, I'm still suffering the after effects of being seriously injured and I said goodbye as the group went for coffee, and walked down to the church, my Limerick on a Saturday was to be reduced to just the litterpicking and my routine prayers at church, and then I headed home to rest.

The good in Limerick outweighs the bad. An honour and a pleasure to work with these people. 

As I walked down to the church, there was no sign of the huge ugly brewing trouble that played a part in the attack on me two weeks ago. Maybe I didn't see anything, maybe I didn't want to, or maybe because the Gardai and others are fully aware of what's been going on, something is being done, good on them if so. It was my Limerick on a Saturday again as I briefly popped in to do my prayers and walked back up to the bus, if I'd been feeling better, I would have stayed around, but I got groceries delivered, I'm not in a library mood and I still need to adjust after what happened, I'm not comfortable sitting or stopping in town yet. 

I get the bus to the end of the route where my bike waits for me. It was a funny day for people asking me for all sorts of directions to place and asking when buses were, maybe because I kept my hi-viz vest on, I wear it when I bike to and from the bus and we wear them for litter picking as well, so people must have thought I was someone and they were asking me a range of questions and directions from easy to impossible and I did my best. Ballybunnion and The Crescent Shopping Centre are okay, but don't throw anything more complex at me. Yikes, I think the last one, no matter where I tried to direct them, they'd still end up in the wrong place. 

I knew as I walked through town that my Limerick hasn't gone just because some irrational and violent people attacked me.  The good people are still here and the Spirit of Limerick is stronger than the current troubles. Your arms are still holding me, and my arms are holding you. 

The Limerick Love Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdjRmM0Q0qs

Darkness into Light

Darkness into Light, Limerick 2025. The sun rises behind TUS Moylish Campus now that the walkers are back and everyone is enjoying breakfast. 

I had the great pleasure and honour of being a safety volunteer for Darkness into Light, 2025 after walking in Dublin last year.

I am very lucky that Pieta House. Limerick, is within biking distance of home, and so last week I biked over after college and met the team. I've been in Limerick 8 months, I've not long come out of street homelessness, and this is my first official community role since leaving homelessness. 

Pieta House play a vital role in suicide prevention and support of those affected by suicide, they provide safe and accessible intervention for people feeling suicidal and support for those affected by suicide. I admire them greatly. When I was at college a few years ago, a team came to the college to talk to us about Pieta House and the services offered, and I think it's amazing that they go into college and universities to ensure that students are aware of their services, students can be a vulnerable group to suicide. The Darkness into Light walk raises vital funds for Pieta House while bringing hope to people affected by suicide. Here's a link to their website:

https://www.pieta.ie/

I biked to Mungret to meet the team on Tuesday, nice people, a nice simple meeting, and I was heading home again before long. I decided that biking to the start point for 3 am on Saturday morning would be too much, so I booked a taxi, and because of past taxi experiences, I booked for it to arrive at 2 am.

I was up at 1 am, having gone to bed early. The taxi was early, and I was at the start point for 2.30. We went round putting up signs and banners, and then volunteers were gathering and a group of us went with a security man to the car park and route from the car park.

I ended up on the front line of car parking, which worked well for me, the security man was keeping traffic and pedestrians separate where the road and footpath met, and he was really clear with instructions which was good, and there were no incidents as people parked and gathered. 

There was just one awkward person, who decided he'd force me out of the position I needed to be in in order to direct traffic, he was driving a huge Dublin registered Chelsea Tractor and trying to fit his car into a space too small for his vehicle. He was really rude, and as he squeezed his car into the space, the couple sitting in the car next to his, got out, checked the tiny space between his car and theirs and said to him 'There's not much room there', he ignored them and me, blew cigarette smoke over us all and stalked off. the couple started their car and re-parked it. 

Mayor John Moran parked, and his dog Henri was barking at my arm signals as I directed traffic, I said 'Shh, Henri, it's too early'. It was 4 am and still dark. 

When traffic was all done, I went to the main gathering area and followed the walkers down to the road. A lady with two gorgeous dogs got me to take some photos for her at the doggie start of the the walk. Then I walked up to the road. 

There was a lone female Garda doing the traffic duty on the roundabout, while a Garda van followed the walkers. I stayed there and directed stragglers.

I was there to cheer the runners and walkers back in, and most were nice, one woman was rude to me, no known reason, but people are like that. 1800 walkers and only two people not in the mood for manners. 

When John Moran and his cohort arrived back, towards the end of the walkers, instead of congratulating the Mayor, I congratulated his dog, and they all laughed. 

Then as the glorious sun rose, there was a nice breakfast, sandwiches, pastries and tea and coffee. It was a great atmosphere and I was honoured to be there. 

I walked back into town with my headphones on, very happy. I forget that I'm disabled, and marshal duties are physical. I had thankfully packed a folding walking stick in my bag and when I started struggling, I leaned on that and staggered into town at about 7 am, exhausted and in pain.

I went into church to put my prayers in the basket as usual, got a cup of tea and a copy of the Post, and sat on the wall, feeling as if I'd never get up again...until the leader of another community volunteering project I belong to, came along and asked if I was litter picking, and I said yes, hauled myself up and dragged myself litter picking with the others. 

We had a great morning, the weather was fantastic, and we went for coffee afterwards, it was a great time, but I was absolutely wrecked at the end. I did my library tasks and got some shopping, went home and collapsed for the rest of the weekend. What a fantastic experience! 

Never forget where it all began, 8 months ago, and now here I am, fully registered and belonging. Limerick 10/05/2025

St Patrick's Day 2025

Due to circumstances, this has taken more than a month to produce. Reasons to live include days like this.

 It was my first St. Patrick's Day in Limerick, and what a day it was! 

I am still street homeless but that didn't stop me from having an awesome day. 

I was up early, unsure what the buses would be like. I was at Raheen and I wanted to be in town early, we were starting at 9.30 but I left plenty of time. I had breakfast and sorted myself out, waited a while for the bus, and one arrived at 8 am. 

In town I walked around and had some tea, waited at the train station. Used the toilet a number of times and had more tea. I was so nervous, terrified in fact, could I really do this? Could I be in the Limerick St. Patrick's Day parade? 

I didn't know the others well. I walked round, and was made welcome, tea and good biscuits and craic, and then we walked down to Sarsfield Barracks where we'd start from. We had fun, we sang 'Limerick you're my lady'. We had a long wait in the wind up there, right up near Punches Cross, so some of us went to the shop. I had an Irish flag with a balloon, the balloon burst in the shop and gave everyone a heart attack.

Then, speaking of heart attacks, someone had a heart attack, not in our group but some distance down towards town, so an ambulance came screaming through, and the parade was delayed by 40 minutes. 

Eventually we set off, stopping and starting as we did. We were behind the wonderful street theatre performers and enjoyed their act as we marched.

It was a fantastic day, the crowds were huge, I didn't recognise the the streets, behind barriers and with the huge crowds, everyone cheering and waving. It was amazing. I only really knew where we were when we got to Henry Street Garda Station, and walked down Henry Street, past the Stands and onto Arthur's Quay. 

These were my signs, the last one I held up every time the boss wasn't looking, and after the parade as I sat and drank my tea, and do you know what? After years of searching, I finally found the Irish sense of humour through that sign: 

 

I had been worried about my ability to walk the whole route without a stick, but I did it. No problem, we crossed the bridge and ended up near Merchant's Quay. 

The crowds were huge, groups were still marching, I found my way back through the crowds to a toilet and then some tea and then coffee with a friend, and so on, it was a fantastic day, not crazy like Dublin, bigger than Longford and Wexford by a long way, a real party atmosphere without everything being swamped, it was easy to get tea and toilets after the parade, which is what mattered to me at the time.

Limerick on a Saturday

I am neglecting 'The Road to Shannon' to write on this blog again, tut. And in case you're not indoctrinated, it's not because The Road to Shannon is paved with good intentions, it never was. I just prefer 198 to Shannon now. 

I've not been well. Quite a bad relapse. I have a metabolic or autoimmune condition which relapses and remits, it can hit hard and I am usually in relapse well before I realise it. The condition presents with aches and pains, tiredness not relieved by rest, increased difficulty walking, muscle fatigue and sudden muscle failure, depression, flashbacks, nightmares and disturbed sleep or trouble sleeping at all. 

Relapse isn't surprising as I've been out it very cold and wet conditions all week. It's been an endurance. And it's not just me, a rough sleeper friend who has been homeless most of his life was saying to me he's absolutely sick of this homeless life and the relentless weather.

I did wonder if I've also picked up a cold or virus and the cheap place I stayed recently had someone coughing and sneezing everywhere as well as slamming doors and shouting into their phone all night. I haven't felt well at all. 

I had a bad night and was having bad dreams about the man who left me homeless in Limerick. I went into town in a miserable mood, tired and aching. And then there I was in Limerick and the world became magical again.

As soon as I was in Limerick, people who I knew were around, there were hugs and chats and fist bumps and handshakes and laughter. My mood lifted straight away. I went to church as usual for my Saturday prayer, and sat on my wall as usual. I enjoyed the hustle and bustle of town on a Saturday and I said 'Limerick, I love you'. Limerick whispered back 'My arms are holding you'. As always, every day I'm in Limerick, the Limerick Love Song is in my head. 

Someone who went past told me they'd bring me food, so I waited, and my friend came and sat with me, he wanted to go for coffee but I told him someone was bringing me lunch, so he came back later and we went to a new coffee place, good prices and good coffee, so that was nice. Last week I told him about the man who left me on the streets, and he said 'That's not a friend, this is what friends do, we have coffee, we chat, we relate to each other'. 

Getting out and talking to people is important, especially when you're feeling bad and want to hide away, it can change things. I have had a lovely day in town. Life is tough but good people make it more bearable. Saturday is the best day to be in Limerick, everyone's around.

My arm is being twisted to tell the Clarecastle Mass story, someone in Shannon is going bright red at the thought while she is in Vigil Mass. Go on then.

So in Clarecastle, Mass is the third sport after Hurling and Hurling Missiles. Paddy is a well-known figure in Clarecastle, the missiles miraculously avoid Paddy, everyone loves him, Paddy, he likes his pint, he's a man. 

Paddy is always at Mass 10 minutes early and he has his seat at the front, no one else will take Paddy's seat, it's a small community and everyone knows their place. 

Paddy never misses Mass and is always in his seat. But one Saturday night, one drink turns into another and one story turns into another, and before Paddy knows it, it's morning. He's far from the first to go from drinking to Mass, Philip and the lads used to do this, but poor Paddy, he's taking it slowly down to the church, he's a little weary. 

Paddy is late for Mass! He goes in, his seat is empty, waiting for him. Mass has started but it's only in the first few minutes. Paddy walks up the aisle. He walks to the front. The priest is speaking. 

Paddy goes up, he says to the priest 'Look father, I'm late, you're just going to have to start again from the beginning',

The priest starts the Mass again from the beginning. 

Thanks for being good sports, Clarecastle. I'll do Ennis next.

+++++

When you feel at your worst, don't hide away, go and be among people a bit, even Angela did in The Limerick Love Story: 

Angela looked out into the dark, snow was falling lightly. 4 am. She dressed and headed out quietly, walking down the hill into town. Standing on O'Connell, she gazed at the Christmas lights as she did every day, with the wonder of a young child. She loved the silver teardrops, the coloured tree lights, and the Christmas trees. She watched the snow fall gently through the lights 'Beautiful'. She gathered snow off the low walls and benches to build a small snowman.

The Garda truck was taking it easy in its journey along O'Connell and slowed even more to see a woman building a snowman at 5.30 in the morning. Angela looked up and waved at the watching Gardai. The driver raised his finger and they moved on, deciding she was harmless enough. 'I have to get away from the nightmares' she told the retreating back of the Garda truck, but no one heard her. After a while she went into the gossip cafe and got a tea to take with her to her doorway. 

----

Michael was drained but relaxed from making love to Graeme as he walked through town to work with his coffee, enjoying the pre-Christmas atmosphere and lights. He tutted at Angela sitting on the step in the cold. 'You have a warm bed and breakfast and you've had a chest infection, Angela'. He shivered and pulled his wool coat round him, cold just to look at her in her cloth jacket. 

She sighed 'I have to get away from the nightmares, the bad feeling sometimes' .

Michael nodded 'I'll come and talk to you at lunchtime if you're around. I do understand what you're telling me. Try not to sit too long in the cold or bite too many legs'. 

----

At 12.15 Michael arrived with tea and coffee and a bundle. He handed Angela her tea and sat beside her. 'Drink your tea' he told her when she looked at the parcel he had with him.  She drank some tea, he opened the parcel. 'This is called a coat, it's designed to keep you warm'. 

'Ha'. 

'If you wear your coat, you get your treat, if not, you don't'. 

He could see she was interested but she wasn't going to ask what the treat was. Eventually she held out her hands for the coat, and he gently helped her to put it on, she didn't object. She made a lot of interesting faces and muttered her thanks. 

'Good girl, now gather your things and we'll go to your treat'.

'Where?' 

'I've finished work for the day, I only had a board meeting. We're going home to Graeme for the rest of the day to chill out and relax, have some fun and food'. He saw Angela smiling and he knew she was happy with the arrangement. They drove through the light snow, the snow wasn't impeding driving and didn't make great headway in settling, but enough to delight the children who were already getting hyped up for Christmas, Michael felt sorry for the parents, but remembered he'd have all that to look forward to. 

Angela's O'Connell Street in the snow.