Letting Go

 Good afternoon and so on. 

I am working on self-help. YouTube has some great CBT videos, there are series, well worth it. 

Being flexible and believing in change help. 

I have been using a CBT programme to see how best to cope with my wrong wiring, and one thing I'm learning about is to channel the intensity which comes from being wired wrong. To focus the panicked instinctive life and death mode which comes from real life and death situations in my past. Essentially using my brain in different ways will help. I was advised of some apps to help keep my brain focused and training, the brain is quite able, some neurological pathways are dark, I am hopeless with lines and numbers, logic. But I decided from recent events that nothing is impossible, I may as well try to wake that part of my brain. 

It's the weekend so I am watching videos while also doing poetry and short story entries. Life has so much in it. I described this while in peer support like this: 

'There are so many stars in the sky'. During recent times stars have come into my musical sound-track for life. Two songs especially, 'The Call' by Regina Spektor 'Pick a star on the dark horizon and follow where it leads...' and then from the recent Christmas 'God Bless us every one' from 'A Christmas Carol' - 'Star by Star in the Sky and kindness by human kindness, let me love till I die and God bless us every one'. Both songs are about change, revolution. A Christmas Carol is about someone waking up, coming out of their cave, and I hope that's what I'm doing. The Call is often linked to action film sound tracks but the words are interesting. 

Another Song I like at the moment is 'The Cave', I always did, some songs from my past have moved to the present. The Cave has a lot in it which not everyone will hear, it goes from The Bible to Odysseus to the analogy of The Cave and boots around many things while being a modern song about relationships and reactions. It reminds me strongly of recent events in my life and how some of those events woke me with a jolt. 

Life changes, evolves, revolves, it's better to evolve than be stuck. Sometimes change means letting go, and it can hurt, and it can be uncertain when you're letting go of one thing to grab another. 

Build a sky full of stars, so when you have to let go of a thing, person or place which you loved or bonded to, you can look at your other stars and keep going forward. 

Life Force

 I hope you're settling into the new year well. 

My revolutions are going okay. I don't use any sugar in my tea. 

The other day I did my initial suicide prevention training. I have first aid first response but suicide training is equally necessary. 

You may have read my previous post. This is about the two suicidal people who I had to help.

Life Force 198: It's hard to know what to do when you're actually confronted by it

 It's good to have training and I will go on and do more training. 

When people are suicidal, it is like being in a dark tunnel with no light, no way out. People are precious, we have to look after them and support them. The most important things people need in that dark tunnel, is people with them and support. 

Support is important. It seems, after all this time and struggle, I have more support. It certainly makes a difference to me. We all need someone to turn to, a friendly face, a friendly place, a cup of tea. 

We all need to talk, to get things off our chest, however unimportant, how we don't like a new TV show, and how we don't fancy Cillian Murphy, and so on, just talking, reaching out. It was the hardest thing in the world for me to reach out but I needed to. We all need to link in with others, even if we like a lot of time alone as I do. 

As I mentioned at Christmas, I got obsessed with 'A Christmas Carol, the Musical' and I love the lines from the song 'Let us love till we die, and God Bless us, every one'. 

By the way, here's a link to great life lessons: 145 Life Lessons Everyone Needs to Learn

I'm not paid for links, it's something I found useful and agree with a number of the lessons.